John Loder 1946-2005
Earlier this morning, at 12.40am, my father died peacefully at the National Institute for Neurology, near Russell Square in London. My partner Bruce held his hand througout and I stroked his head and talked to him. As he left, we both told him how wonderful he was and how much he was loved by us and everyone around him. I think it was a good death.It all happened very suddenly, and was mercifully quick. My mother arranged for him to be admitted to hospital on Monday for what everyone had thought would be a brief visit. He had suspected inflammation in the brain. Because he had been up and about until a few days ago it was thought unlikely that the tumour would be responsible--they don't tend to grow that fast. We all expected he would be fully recovered after a short 48-hour course of steroids. He was not really able to speak but seemed to understand most of what was going on. One strange thing I do not fully understand is that on Monday he initially refused to take the steroids, although he had agreed before he was admitted that they would be a good idea. He also initially refused an MRI.
On Wednesday, though, it became clear that he wasn't getting better. And then it became clear that he was not going to get better either. My mother and I had the results of the scan which were "grim" as the consultant explained to us. The tumour had grown substantially. But we were told that it could take months and he would need to be moved to a nursing home.
We didn't tell this to him. Thursday he spent mostly asleep, as too Friday. Or at least, he appeared to be asleep by the way he was snoring soundly but from time to time he'd squeeze people's hands when they spoke--although he was still snoring.
All the doctors and nurses were amazed at how quickly this happened. The speed and ease of his departure is a source of real comfort.
As far as I am aware, the last word my father spoke was on Wednesday, was the word "blins". This is a made-up family word that is an expression of happiness, satisfaction and either comfort or delight. He said it after eating a Krispy Kreme donut with white icing and raspberry filling.
Natasha Loder, Saturday August 13th 2005.
posted by Natasha Loder at 10:00 AM
349 Comments:
I am not really able to access the words that need to adequately describe what I am feeling right now. John was the older brother I never had, my mentor, my strongest ally and my most cherished adversary. I took so many pages from his book I'd be surprised if there were any left. And I also know he nicked a few from mine, on the sly. To the world at large, JL was probably largely seen as a very clever and very eccentric businessman, which he undoubtedly was. But a lucky few of us also got to know the sweet, generous man behind that, and I have been very fortunate in this respect.
I am so very very grateful for everything he gave to me, and in total awe of his strength and stubbornness right up until a few days before he died. I am grateful for his quick and peaceful passing.
I love you John, and thank you for sharing a part of yourself with me.
John was a hero and mentor to me. He was one of the great men: One who made greatness possible for others. I owe him a debt I can never repay, and I am having a hard time envisioning the world without him.
My heart breaks for Sue and Natasha, and I hope they get some comfort in knowing that John was not just admired and respected, he was loved -- truly loved -- by people like me. People like me, by the hundreds, who he helped, taught and honored with a blinding dedication, purity of vision and effort.
I learned a lot from John, and I learned that one is never so wise that he can't still learn something new. I learned that from watching John being regularly invigorated by something new.
John, sweet and funny. Tough as nails and sharp as a tack. All i's dotted, all t's crossed. Ready to take off on an adventure at the drop of a hat. Never heavy. You were an original, John. A one-off, custom work.
Thank you.
My beloved Natasha,
Everybody knows that the raspberry ones are the best doughnuts of them all, so there is no doubt that your father, whom I now shed tears over without even having met, because of your beautiful, simple, loving tribute to him, died in peace. I am so sorry for your loss, it must have been so shocking and fast. It seems that you managed to part and say a good meaningful goodbye, and I hope this fact comforts you a bit. I hug you from afar at this sad hour. I hope to hug you for real very soon.
Daphna
My overwhelming memory of John is of being scared of him and of feeling intimidated in his presence - even before I fell in love with his young daughter. With hindsight, it's easy to see that this was the result of my own insecurity, ignorance and not a little envy.
Yes, he was a bastard sometimes - but when he was, he was always a clever bastard, and no one would deny it. When I hated him, it was invariably because he had been proved right - and hadn't even rubbed it in. Damn!
John gave countless kids (and grown up kids - like me) the chance to do what we really wanted to do without being judgemental. He didn't treat us like the idiots we often were, but continued to work (and wheel and deal) on our behalf. We knew he was a good/hard businessman and that he was always determined to make a profit from what we were doing, but we respected that because he was giving us that chance and he was genuinely enthusiastic about our efforts. And, it seemed to me that, on the (probably rare) occasions when he failed to make that profit, John would just grin and move on.
What intrigued me was that his tremendous business acumen was coupled with a fierce independence and determination not to be dictated to by 'the establishment'. Typically, aware that Resistance is (in the long term, anyway) Futile, John's master plan was to set up his own alternative establishment! It kept him amused for years.
Due mainly to my aforementioned inadequacies, I never got to know John well. I don't know how many people did. I wish I had. I wish I could have sat down and talked to him as an equal. But that could never have happened because he was a very, very clever man.
He once asked me to do a relatively simple wiring job, which I proceeded to screw up. Feeling even dumber than ever in his presence, I apologised. John just shrugged, began to correct my mistake and said, "that's OK, you're good at other things". I've never forgotten that (clearly!), and, whenever I screw up, his words comfort me in a perverse way.
I traveled in the Fugazi orbit as roadie and friend and had several opportunities to hang out with John. His warmth, strength, and love of life were remarkable --- you always got the feeling he had an ace or two up his sleeve. Please accept my deepest sympathies for your loss.
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One thing I always will remember about John was how excited he became when Karate visited him in London. I never really experienced the businessman image that John seems to be known for. Instead I always found him to be sort of like a big kid totally giddy about music. John always seemed almost elated to see us, and wore a constant smile as he joyously conveyed tales about classic bands we were too young to have seen. A few times he took us out to restaurants that he loved for one reason or another, and at times it almost seemed like it was more important for him to share a piece of his world with us than to feed us good food. (I remember one time when I wondered why John had taken us to some random greasy spoon, he proceeded to tell a detailed story about how terrorists had been making bombs in the apartment upstairs from the restaurant. I realized that I had seen the outside of the restaurant on CNN a few weeks before!)
I will also remember John's generosity. When we stayed with him he took joy in running around his house with random wires and PC cards meeting our specific broadband requirements, or sharing his video recordings of some TV series he was really into. When we first signed a contract with Southern in 1994, and before I had ever met John in person, he sent me a beautiful vintage tape echo as a gift. I remember thinking that he could have done something easy like send a stack of CD's from Southern's catalog, but instead he made the effort to find something very unique and specific that he knew I would appreciate.
I regret that most of my relationship with John was via phone or email, but from the times we spent together in person I remember someone who exuded a genuine love and excitement for the music and musicians he surrounded himself with. It seems to me that John must lived a very fulfilling life and enjoyed each day as much as most of us could ever hope to.
even though i have known you for over 20 years, i never really knew your dad tash, not really... he was always a little scary!
until last year, when we seemed to connect on the "sick person" level! the little time i did spend with him, talking to him, sharing thoughts about our respective illnesses were thought provoking and amusing..
i'm glad i was able to see him the day before..
even though he nearly broke my hand with his immensely strong grip!:)
take it easy sweetheart and hope to see you,bruce and sue soon,
all my love,
sam x
I consider myself one of the fortunate to have been invited into John's circle of gifted, passionate, and usually unconventional individuals. He was most definitely my mentor, yet, he treated me as his equal. I enjoyed our business discussions and you could always sense John's passion for whatever project we were working. But more than our business relationship, John was my friend, a treasured family member. I thank Sue and Natasha for sharing him with us all. The world is better with the gifts John left behind.
John, I love you and will miss your smile with the twinkle in your eye. Thank you for... the list is endless.
his distracted ease behind the wheel of a car could at times make for a harrowing ride,
but we always made it there.
John will be missed deeply by any musician who had the good fortune to have been taken under his wing and shown the gracious hospitality of Middleton Road.
I count as among the happiest moments of my life nights around the wooden table with John playing dice into the wee hours. He displayed tremendous gusto for the game, always the very last to want to put it to bed, which was somewhat suprising considering his only very occasional ability to win at it.
Well, one Achilles heel isn't bad for a man who otherwise had everything else. Great smarts, great taste, great beard, great smile.
London will never be the same to me without you John -
xxx Guy
John believed in the creativity of everyone. He challenged a person to find it if they were unaware of it, or even perhaps, if they were afraid of it.
He also gave people a chance, a rare and lovely present, that is too often withheld.
Thank you, John.
p.s. i will agree with guy, London will never be the same.
John’s presence in the world changed so many lives for the better. I can’t speak for all the others, but I can say that if I had never met John, the past 20 years of my life would have been very different. At a time in my life when I needed it the most, John was a gracious friend who openly shared his knowledge, his views, his home and his friendship. John made an impact on me and altered the course of my life.
I know he directly made a positive difference in the lives of hundreds of people, and indirectly he made a positive difference in the lives of thousands more. He always had a sparkle in his eye that betrayed his zest for whatever he was working on, regardless oh how serious or how frivolous it may have been. There’s nobody in the world that can replace John. His death at such an early age is a tragedy. My heart goes out to you Sue and Natasha.
Natasha and Sue, Your choice of picture here reminds me of every great late night I spent with your father and husband. He was our kindred spirit across the ocean, across years. He helped us achieve our goals and his vision will continue to resonate the world over long after his passing. I loved him dearly and will miss terribly. I am truly sorry for your loss.
After a very brief phone conversation I was invited to Middleton Road to interview for the position of Web Master, where I met John for the first time. I was extremely nervous - I wanted the job so badly, yet I had never turned on a computer before.
We spoke about music for a long time and I was offered the job. I came clean and told him I knew absolutely nothing about computers to which he replied something like "oh whatever, you'll learn". It was our mutual love for a certain band and for music as a whole that was important to John, and that was all he needed to believe in me.
It was the beginning of a relationship that was very special to me. We had such laughs, we worked through troubles, he took me on my first trip to the US to see our favourite band and I always believed that it was because of John that I got to meet my soul mate, my husband. I am glad I was able to thank him for that.
I love John and will miss him terribly.
Long before I got to meet John and based on all what I heard about him he became some kind of my personal hero. His footsteps in the world that I was growing into were obvious and everywhere. After I met him and learned to know him he became even more, like a role model - the attitude, the beliefs, the way how he was running his business and how he worked in the small world we belong to. To many people he might be known as a tough businessmen, what he was. But in a manner that shall work as a role model for numerous people. I will never forget how he acted when it came to business: right after we opened the German office he came over to meet with us and visit possible distribution companies for a future relationship. We went down to one of these companies and had lunch with their big boss. It was more than obvious that they really wanted to work with us. So the meeting ended up with their boss having a monologue for about 1,5 hours about how cool and straight their company is, how perfectly they control the market and how committed they are to making money back. Not a single word was spoken about attitude, beliefs in music or if they just simply like the stuff we put out. John was following this monologue, totally committed to the situation. He didn't interrupt a single time. He gave this conversation all the space that it needed, the talking guy all the time he needed to say what he wanted to say and so he created a calm and peaceful atmosphere, unlikely for meetings of that kind. After the boss was done, John leaned over and with an open and very honest smile he just said: "I don't think that you are the right partner for us." He said it maximum polite with not even a slight sparkle of disrespect. Honest, straight and to the point but not disrespectful at all. THAT was the company, THAT was the attitude I am working for! And that is what he lived and taught us: Always stick to your attitude, always stick to your beliefs, never compromise, never give up, never surrender. In this sense he taught me even more: the fulfilling moment, when a job becomes a life and a company becomes a family. I had the opportunity to meet him only a few times but these rare moments defined my life forever. Thank You, John.
learning of john's death has led me to consider how much in my life came from the world that john made. and i am just 1 of so many.
his remarkable legacy will resonate for a very long time.
I was fortunate enough to work with John on a day to day basis for more than a year before his illness first materialised. That year was one of the most educational and enjoyable of my life. The opportunities he created for people and the faith he showed in those he trusted and liked will be an example to me always. While our contact was much briefer in the year or so afterward he still managed to pop into my life frequently brightening my day. From asking for small favours like house sitting for him to buying a mobile phone battery it was always such a pleasure. I will always be immensely grateful to have been a small part of the community he created and to have known him just a little bit. In particular I will forever remember his kind words when I was leaving Southern just a few short weeks ago when he took the time to call me personally. Thank you John for the opportunities your passion gave me.
Like many, I was initially very scared of John, a situation exacerbated when, six months after I had started working for him, he asked Allison: "Who's he? What does he do?"
But I soon realised that there was nothing to be fearful of, except perhaps the erratic van driving or maybe if you'd ballsed up some work permits....
John was happy to answer questions and explain stuff patiently. I remember, after I had finished working for Southern, I desperately needed some electrical advice and the only person I could think of was John. He phoned me up, and went through all my options at length, offered to order the parts through his sources and invited me round to his house so that he could show me how to wire everything up correctly.
I will always be thankful and grateful for all the opportunities John gave me and so many others. We'll all miss you.
recording at southern studios and being a part of the southern family has changed our lives,taken us to places we thought we would never get to and brought us great happines.we are eternally grateful.
thank you so much john from all of TODD.
John Loder was the type of person I wish the world had
more of.. sadly, like most wonderful folks, he was also
completely unique and there's nobody else like him nor
will there ever be another.
Thanks, John, for everything.. from all of us.
Jerny
Although I've been lucky enough to have found myself working at Southern for two years now, the amount of times I've had the fortune of meeting John are sadly but a handful. However, in our brief communication (usually
shouting to one another over a blaring band in the background of some gig or another) there was no doubting that he was a man of great vision and intellect. I personally found his boundless enthusiam for music an
inspiration, as I'm sure so many others have too. It makes me happy to realise his legacy will continue to inspire us all.
Greatest sympathies,
chrxs
I will always remember your dad for his giant smile, which just took over his entire face to the point of explosion, but it was his eyes which shone the most.
I'm grateful that I got to see your dad in June, when he came over to college with your mum to see the degree show. I was shy and proud....and felt 12 years old all over again. I've always held your parents in the highest esteem, always told my mum how cool they are and always felt happy to be in your home. I think yours was the only place I ever managed to sleep peacefully when we had a sleep over. I always felt very welcome.
I am really sorry for your loss. I know how much you love your dad and I know that he has always been immensly proud of you Natasha.
my funny John story:
Working for Danielle at Southern/Chicago and knowing her and how much she hates ciggy smoke - John comes to visit and does the one thing none of us would ever dare to do: smoke in Danielle's office! I wish I had a photo of him sitting at her computer, rolling a thin fag, and clattering away on the keyboard whilst a thin trail of smoke ascended slowly to the ceiling where it hung in a thick hazy cloud. We all thought it hilarious!! It's hard to convey just how FUNNY it really was. And how blissfully
unaware he was of the whole of the situation. Brilliant.
Only John could get away with that here.
What a good guy.
R.I.P., mate. Thank you for everything. JPMc
I did not know him, but I am awed by his work and, thanks to the post and these comments, his life. One word says it all:
Respect.
much sympathy to John's family. I am one of the many, many musicians who worked with him. An expierience I treasure. His legacy is enormous.
I hope there is some comfort in knowing how much love and positive energy Mr Loder generated.
God bless him.
I'm very thankful for the opportunity to have met John and to be associated with his Southern Records. He was an inspiration and I will always remember the times spent with him. It was an honor. Peace to him and his family.
John was one of the most generous and kick-ass people I've had the pleasure to know. He was never, ever done with music. He had constant enthusiasm for new bands, and was infinitely generous with musicians, even when they were fractious and juvenile. I will not forget the image of him coming towards us, hugs for all, when he retrieved Ui from Heathrow in 1996, at the start of our first nervous trip as a band. He wore a freshly laundered Melt-Banana t-shirt and told stories about Crass, offering us room and board in his house while we recorded an EP that wasn't even coming out on his label.
We should all be so lucky as to meet half a Loder.
John was indeed an inspiration and will be truly missed. He was the rare breed of person able to lose himself in aiding others to achieve their dreams.
I wish I had more opportunities to take in that smile and warmth of presence but will hold dear the few that I actually was fortunate enough to encounter.
I know that everything John did - all the business stuff, all the hard work - was about one goal : being able to hang out with people that he loved, people that inspired him. That was his ultimate currency.
I want to thank everyone for leaving comments and remembrances here, on a personal level it's really helping me deal with my own selfish sense of loss.
Guy's story really made me smile : so I dug out these photos of one such wonderful evening at the Loders. A meal shared by friends, followed by a rambunctious and seemingly endless game of dice. A thousand laughs, a million smiles.
Just look at the joy on that man's face. Have you ever seen anything like it?
Even though i only worked with John for a few months (over 10 years ago), they turned out to be some of the most important and far-reaching days of my life. You could say that John put me on the path that I'm still following today. In this I feel priveledged, not for what he did for me, but for becoming part of the large family of wonderful and talented individuals whom John nurtured (and, I suspect, in some cases tortured) over the years. Insightful, driven and above all a Geek to the core - he will be missed. I send my fondest regards to Su & Tasha and wish them the strength to make it through this troubling time.
Your words moved me to tears... my Dad also died suddenly, and I too found comfort in the fact that he didn't suffer long.
Your words (and the memories others have posted here) are a testament to his life, and the lives he touched in such a positive manner!!
Thank you for sharing this!
I first met John when he came to Abbey Rd for a mastering session. Although I had been mastering for several years, I had just joined as a freelance and John was my first attended session. I needed it to go well.
John and I had a chat and then got down to work. John was relaxed, happy and the session went like a dream. Much to my relief.
Our paths crossed again just a couple of months ago and I was able to re-introduce him to Ray Staff an old friendship of many years.
John was a lovely man, a true gent, we are all poorer for his passing.
John sent me this quote in an email which cheered me up.
"When you're up to your neck in shit, the only thing left to do is sing" (Samuel Beckett)
I am shocked by this very sad, sudden news. I never knew John personally, but my heart goes out to everyone whose life he touched, especially the entire Southern family. I know he worked tirelessly to develop such a wonderful community of incredible musicians, artists, engineers, and supporters on two continents. He is an inspirational figure, and I am sure that his positive influence will live on in the hearts of many.
I don't know how you found the strength to write so beautifully so soon after your fathers death Tasha, but I found it truly moving. My heart goes out to both you and Sue.
He had a way of bringing people together and getting the best from them. I'm very lucky to have known him and worked with him.
When you work at Southern, it really does feel like you're part of a family. I thank John for his friendship and the friendship of all the great people I've met through working with him.
I think one part of John Loders legacy is all the truly strong connections of people that he's brought together over the years through Southern.
Wow. I can't believe he's gone.
-Joey
PS: I typed this in Vi, then copied it into the web browser. Just for you John!
I'd like to give my thanks to John for all the music. If you've learned a thing or two from Crass, Fugazi or Shellac then you've learned a thing or two from John.
My heartfelt condolences go out to Natasha and Sue, and all those who worked with John, or even who just knew him via the large body of incredible work he left us to remember him by. This is sad news, indeed. I will never be able to eat a Krispy Kreme without remembering him.
I never met John, and I only spoke to him on the phone once and over email on a number of occasions. But I'm fortunate to know many people here on this blog, who are now relating the wonderful experiences they had with John. From the stories that I was told, and from my few communications with him—engineer to engineer, novice recordist to music expert—I always imagined John to be incredibly intense, always aware, and forever a perfectionist at everything to which he put his mind. (Ask me about backing up album tracks to a specific model of hard disk, with a specific naming convention for the specific file types, delivered to a specific address using a specific account number on a specific day... relayed to me in exacting detail by email... not only from John but from others who worked with John... all while being told that John was cutting us serious slack because he loved the band so much.) Now I see that he was also a caring husband and father, a friend and mentor to many, and a man who loved his family, his friends, his music, and his life... and he shared this love with many around him.
Cheers to a man who helped so many others realize and achieve their goals. Cheers to a man whose last word was for his family. Krispy Kreme may be heaven—or hell—on earth. Let's rest assured that wherever John ends up, he'll spread his love and know-how, and somehow he'll manage to make that place his own.
my condolences to john's family and everyone saddened by his passing.
the man will be remembered for what he established. he serves as a shining example for the rest of us in what is generally a wretched business. we should all strive to achieve some fraction of his legacy.
highest respect,
joel kranky
John’s good grace and willingness to give a guy the benefit of the doubt were very much in evidence when I first met him. That’s a story which will be best told by Natasha. Thanks for bearing with me John.
His instinct to offer tea rather than opprobrium was also apparent when he lent us his beloved, beaten-up old Bedford van for Natasha and me to begin moving my stuff into her flat. He obviously loved that wreck. He didn’t care that it wasn’t the most reliable means of transport, that’s just what he chose to drive. John didn’t have so much as a reproachful look for me when we forgot to put on the crook lock and it was stolen. Luckily it turned up a few days later. I really hope we can give you one last spin in that van of yours, John.
I’ll always wish I had spent more time really getting to know John. He was always so warm-hearted and kind to me, always making me feel like one of the family. And such an endearing perfectionist. I’ll always remember how, after spending ages trying to work out how I could arrange my stereo and loudspeakers in our flat, I discovered that someone had installed strategically placed pieces of floorboard which were screwed rather than nailed in place, so that you could easily lift them to run cables under the floor. I couldn’t believe it. “You haven’t known my dad for very long”, laughed Natasha
This is true. I haven’t known John anything like as long as most of you. My heart goes out to his countless friends and colleagues who have shared with him his passion for what he did. I’m sure John was tough as old boots in business. The off-duty John I got to see was the most laid-back, warm, giving, loving soul you could ever hope to know. I shall always miss him always, and be thankful to him for being so happy to share with me the love of his wonderful, beautiful, brilliant, darling daughter.
If there is a heaven up there, you can bet John is busy negotiating a great group discount on entry for you all.
Music has lost one great voice. I cant count the amount of releases in my collection attributed to this great man.
the comments to this post prove this. He touched everyone from a young teenage boy in Canada in the early 90's (myself), to the pioneers in of American Underground music (Iam, Guy, Corey).
I raise a glass to his memory, and hope that his family can make it through the grieving.
Graham
I am overawed by all the amazing things people are saying about John. I am seeing a different side of my dear,impossible,complicated husband. His first concerns on learning of his brain tumour was for all the staff at Southern.He just wanted to get well quickly so he could get back to being part of the team,and he was so relieved when business did carry on as usual and took a delight in the fact that people could make their own decisions.Southern was always his big extended family.
We had some rare and wonderful times when he got ill, getting to know each other all over again and sharing such simple things like two robins who took up residence in our garden.
He was stubborn to the end,never wanting to be part of the "system",refusing a free travel card he was entitled to because he felt that they would then have him on their books,so to speak.
His passion for music and musicians never ceased.A week before he died he was in London with me. He was very weak and shaky and we stopped for a coffee.
An obvious musician with equipment gave up his comfy seat for us. John was so excited because this guy was off to do a gig. As we walked down Tottenham Court Road several more showed up. John was so thrilled that there was a big gig on and went up to each of them in turn,(to their amazement) and said "have a good one" , with a huge grin on his face. He loved creative people and did all he could to support and encourage them.
He was not a family man but appreciated us more than anything else. There was another side to the hard businessman, he was also playful, loving and generous.
I thankyou John for introducing me to so many wonderful people,for enriching my life in a most unconventional way,for all the silly jokes we shared.
He helped us all to learn how to fulfil
our dreams,giving us encouragement and the impetus to get moving and actually do something.I know he would want that we all continue to do just that.
Thankyou all for you comments and for those who have been personally supportive to me, Natasha and Bruce.
Thankyou John so much for our life together.
Wherever you are now "have a good one".
My deepest sympathies to Sue and Natasha.
John has been the architect and heartbeat behind so much that has impacted my life. Through the culture that reached me in youth, and through the faith he showed in me as a person. He will be missed.
I had no idea how much John meant to me until this day. I guess one expects persons like John and be the kind of figure he was (punk rock hero, insanely great business man, friend, benefactor to everyone) to live forever. I, personally, am gutted. I have no idea what to say, but a million words can’t express my feelings right now enough. He not only changed my life but saved it. Thank you and I love you John. Wish I said it sooner.
when i first met john i was struck because he seemed kind of shy, which surprised me because i knew his history and who he'd worked with. he was always checking things were okay with us when we recorded, and when he saw us, and im pretty sure he rumbled me when i was joking about him being like darth vader and coming through a secret sliding door from his house into southern studios, because a split second after i said it, he did exactly that, thus making me feel pretty embarrassed. you got me john.
stevenxx
I would never know about a lot of amazing bands without this guy, because they wouldn't have been distributed so well. The same can be said for millions of kids like me.
What a legacy! "Blins" indeed...
Your tribute is moving and wonderful. I'm so sorry for your loss, and so grateful for everything your father meant to the music industry. Blessings and peace to all who loved him.
I never met the man but, for the past two decades, I have seen his name on countless records that hold a special place in my heart. Clearly, he was extremely dedicated to music and had a profound influence on so many people. Please accept my deepest condolences.
I became John`s accountant 11years ago and had the privelege of becoming a friend in the ensuing years .He was a smashing guy with a great smile and a true warmth .I had the pleasure of sharing evenings at Spurs and days at Lords watching cricket which were real fun times .I last saw John and Sue at my 60th birthday party a couple of months ago and he seemed in great form which makes his passing such a great shock .Sue , Natasha treasure the memories of a really great bloke . I can`t believe that I won`t be seeing him again .
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I became John`s accountant 11years ago and had the privelege of becoming a friend in the ensuing years .He was a smashing guy with a great smile and a true warmth .I had the pleasure of sharing evenings at Spurs and days at Lords watching cricket which were real fun times .I last saw John and Sue at my 60th birthday party a couple of months ago and he seemed in great form which makes his passing such a great shock .Sue , Natasha treasure the memories of a really great bloke . I can`t believe that I won`t be seeing him again .
My sincere sympathies to Natasha and Sue on your loss. I worked for John at Southern for 3 years and looking back they were the most rock and roll years of my life! Southern was a quirky little brown-carpeted universe of its own where I learnt a huge amount, met a lot of great people and listened to a lot of loud music! John was a real individual and a huge influence on many lives. He was definitely ahead of his time when it came to embracing new technology - I was the first person I know to have email! I know he only gave me the job (in production) as I said I liked cubbyholes and my birth chart looked right - you have to love that for an employment strategy! Thankyou.
I'm really sorry to hear about John's death. His impact on music will continue to resound thru the ethers into our ears and hearts, always...and though he will be missed, he will never be forgotten.
Just heard the sad news.... John will be missed, never forgotten though... I didn't know John personally, just knew of him and his impact on my musical outlook and creative attitude.... Thanks for all you did and the impact it will continue to have on those of us who love music and the community and creative exchange that exists around real music..... There's people out there who will never know what John did for their lives. Our love and thanks go out to John's family and close friends. BIG RESPECT AND BIG THANKS
I met John once about 5 or 6 years ago while working for Southern in Chicago. I was told to be intimidated, but he turned out to be a really great guy. As passionate about the small details of how we ran our business as the big ones, he helped me with some problems we were having entering new titles in the database. My experience at Southern was a time of great personal growth and learning, due in no small part to the environment John helped to foster. I don't know that he'd remember meeting me, but I know I won't ever forget meeting him.
I first met John 15 years ago when he interviewed me for a job. He asked me what music i listened to and checked out my chinese star sign. All seemed to be in order and he welcomed me to the Southern family.John could be infuriating at times especially when a yes/no decision was needed but he liked to ponder and consider all the possibilities and rarely made a mistake.He was one of the most intelligent men I've ever met whether it be rewiring the telephone system or discussing the intricacies of the US stock markets.Above all he was a gentle, trusting man that always remained cool and shunned the system.
RIP in John.
Love to Sue and Tasha
My condolences to John's family, friends and my friends at Southern. I first met John when I worked at Touch & Go. More recently he made time for me with very little notice when I visited London. He was a man of sincere enthusiasm, grace and generosity of spirit. Others have mentioned the twinkle in his eye, that spark radiated out and touched many people who never knew him personally. As Joel said, we've all got some work to do to equal a portion of the standards he set.
hi, sue and natasha.
thru the darkest days of my life, some records distributed by southern kept me hopeful and fit for getting back on my best health and shake down all of my addictions. inspiration is priceless and mr. loder's work gave it plenty for me and other countless lost kids everywhere.
we will miss him.
Time has come today.
John will obviouly be missed.
such a positive soul, such a cool guy.
helped so many in so many ways.
inspiration and support he gave to artists like myself and so many others.
what a nice fucking guy - what a well meaning guy.
I'm very sad he's no longer here in body - but obviously that spirit is in all of us.
thanks John
condolece to the family and all of you here
lovE.
John gave me my extended, surrogate family, that has seen me through the worst over the past 10 years. Even if you just wandered through the Southern world briefly, he was always interested in your progress as a person afterwards, even if you were a terrible employee. I’m sure he only hired me initially because of my birthday but I’m so glad he did.
To the Loder Family,
I am deeply sorry to hear about the loss of such a great man as John. I myself grew up listening to Crass, and was hugely impressed with the amount of work Loder and the band accomplished together.
I'm sure I speak for the Seattle community when I say were all in your thoughts.
Thank you Natasha and Sue for opening your hearts and home to us all. John changed my life, what an amazing man. All my love!
i was so sorry to hear about the loss of such a man. never met him, but had so many recordings produced by him that his name was as familiar as that of the bands. condolences to all.
I always considered John a role model in how to conduct myself in business. It almost seems faint praise to state there weren't many like him in the music distribution profession.
I will miss John.
He was a kind, fair, smart and hardworking man with a unique sense of humor, and I'll always remember him that way.
Paul Ashby
I never met John, but I spoke to him one time
on the telephone in 1994. Back then I was a
21-year-old kid who had played a role in the
mixing of one of the earliest Southern Records US
releases, Rex's first album. Anyway.. I was sitting
at my mom's house in PA when the phone rang.
It was John Loder, a person who's name I'd known
for nearly a decade from the backs of some of my
favorite records. Adding to the awe factor was that
John was calling me from Abbey Road Studios. I
remember him modestly accepting my starstruck
compliments, and felt very encouraged when he
asked me my opinions on the tapes in question
and how I thought he should do things to make them
sound as good as possible. I found that openness
an admirable quality in a person. And my mom can
testify to how ecstatic I was when I got off the phone
with him.
Since then... the past 11 years I've known many
friends and other bands who worked with John in
one way or another, and always hoped that one day
I'd get to meet him and tell him how fondly I've
always remembered that one phone conversation.
Unfortunately that will never happen, but judging
by these remembrances and others I've heard,
I'm sure that John knew well what he meant to
those people whose lives he effected.
My sincerest condolences,
Fred
Very sorry to hear about this. John was a great character and a brilliant recording engineer. The sonic inventiveness of those old Crass, Flux, Rudimentary Peni, Subhumans, etc. records has always been underrated, and most of that is due to John. A very funny man, too. He'll be missed.
Wow - what sad and sudden news.
What I'll remember most about John, aside from his driving which has been charitably described as 'erratic' (we were always scared out of our minds), is his incredible generosity. He and Sue had us as guests in their home, he mastered our records, he dropped everything to ride down to Paris with us for our first European show, and then booked the better part of a tour for us a few years later. The list is incredibly long, and every entry changed my life, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.
And yes, that smile.
London certainly won't be the same, we'll miss him so much. Love to Sue and Natasha, with sincere condolences.
He was an inspiration and I am greatful for the influence he had on the things I believe in. thank you for putting so much love and conviction in your work.
As long as 'Loder' could always be found at the end of a 'phone everything would be alright (absolutely everything). I pissed myself when I first started there, reading the Southern warehouse graffiti & paste ups of photo montages cleverly put together of (eg) SRD xmas do's & stuff & often found myself going to a quiet place & laughing my bollocks off. Limits were well exceeded to what deemed a 'normal' working environment but the work got done & it was never difficult to relate to anyone (including John) on an easy level, great considering SRD had workers from a very varied set of different musical persuasions & cultures. I'm sad I can't be there to see the family again & to say goodbye together to a uniquely super guy. I'm sure it won't be easy for everyone first but there are many (as we can see in the comments) who stand by you all & think of you at this time. Though you're gone John, I know your legacy will never die. Love.
i just want to say thank you. you are and will always be with us.
thank you john for all you have done. your lifeswork has made me a better person. may you rest in peace.
John seemed to always tap into the importance of creativity in the
person. Me, not being a musician, yet an artist, always talked about
what I was doing and shared sincere excitement for my projects, and
would always offer his support. I remember when I was trying to
publish one of the earlier editions of the Banned in DC, and I was
trying to get southern to buy a large quantity and ship them by boat
to England so that they would be available in Europe for a reasonable
price. After a bit of "going back and forth" on the pricing, the
cost, etc.. John just said, "Well, I guess it doesn't matter. This
is a very important book and it just has to be done."
Visiting him once in London, we shared the understanding of good
food. I expressed the fact that you can't get clotted cream in the
US. (as of course i liked it) and one day, way after the fact, he
fedexed me a jar of clotted cream, labeled as a cd or something for
customs. Unfortunately, it was the hottest day of the year here, so
it didn't make it.
John really rejoiced in life as a creative venue and he made it
happen for a lot of people. More so, he now has instilled it in all
of us. My love to Sue and Natasha.
we met john several times over the past six years during trips to london to harass the SSL staff. whether in wide-ranging discussions about the history and current state of independent record distribution, reminiscences of his early work in and out of the studio, or general musings about culture and politics, john's blend of pragmatism, idealism, stubborness, principle, curiosity, humility and wit was a highlight of every visit. sitting across from john at his large desk at #10, rolling slender cigarettes while attempting to parse out the idiosyncrasies of the german record market, or getting a first-hand account of the crass years...john's sweet, sharp, shining soul inspiring a quiet excitement, a simple thoughtfulness, and of course big warm smiles.
we could not have navigated the thorny terrain of the music industry without the structure he built and the instinctive balance of ethics and economics he brought to bear on his operations and words of advice. he allowed our record label to shift from bedroom art project to 'going concern' with a commitment to principles that, far from simply tolerated, was encouraged and affirmed - even as these regularly conspired against anyone's bottom line! the house that john built gave us the blueprint - and the room, literal and ethical - to do what we felt was right, knowing the ground had been thoroughly surveyed and well-cleared before us. walking in his footsteps, along the path he hacked out of such a weed-filled landscape as the music industry, has truly been an honour. we all owe it to john's memory to tend that path as best we can, guide others to it and through it, plant more flowers there...
our sincere condolences to john's family and friends.
ian & don
John always inspired me. I have so many great memories of times we spent together: great talks over meals, or in his office, or on tour or in the studio with the band....
Whenever I was heading to London, for whatever reason, I always looked forward to seeing John. Staying in the attic at Myddleton Rd was an honor...kuriki, late night movies, the pull-down attic staircase....tiptoeing around in the early morning before sneaking out to catch an early flight...
There's a spot on the wall at #10 that hasn't been painted over where people's heights were recorded. I remember seeing that on my first few visits and secretly hoping that someday John would take a pencil, have me stand up against the wall, and mark my height and name there. It made me feel like a part of something special when he finally did one day.
I'm glad he was my friend and I'm going to miss him terribly.
bob
Hi Natasha,
I was so sorry to hear that John had passed away. If I may introduce myself, my name is Nick Webb and I'd worked with John here at Abbey Road Studios for what must be around twenty years. In those years he became not just a client but also a dear friend who was always a pleasure to work with.
Thank you for this web page and the opportunity to post this brief message.
Our thoughts are with you over this difficult time.
Nick
I met John when I moved in Wood Green in '82. By luck (mine)I lived close to his house .To me he was always nice,funny,honest and full of good advice . That is how I'll always remember him. Sue, I'm really sorry about your loss , with my deepest condolences,Mauro
I heard recently from my friend Sally Young (Quint, Ut) that John had been ill but I had no idea about the severity.
Southern made a very important contribution to getting music that wouldn't usually be given a chance into the hands of the British public. So many artists and bands we would have never heard of (especially from the Touch & Go stable) had it not been for John's enthusiasm and dedication. Despite being the head honcho of Southern and his engineering of so many great records he still got his hands dirty where others would sit back and delegate. Not many MDs would be seen driving bands up and down the UK and helping hump their amps up countless flights of stairs, even if they were Shellac or Fvgazi!
A great loss to music.
S
X
Like Jon Bains, I knew John from a time ten years ago when the web was in its infancy. I was setting up a webzine called rage and a friend got us a meeting with John at Southern. I instantly warmed to him, and I remember coming out of the meeting feeling full of energy and inspired. In fact every time I talked to him after that I always got a little buzz.
Over the next year the Southern site hosted our little webzine alongside the enormous IUMA site which added so much credibility to what we were doing. Together with John’s help we managed to do lots of web firsts, like hosting the first live blog from Glastonbury in 1995, and distributing the first viral campaign with the irritating Guinness screensaver.
Without his patronage in the 90’s and his early work with bands like Crass who I adored as a punk back in 70’s (I only found out his connection much later after meeting him) I wouldn’t be the person I am today.
RIP John, thank you.
there's no frontier in the music?? remember the independent music? here in Argentina, some people grown and LISTEN all that Crass ideology, it hurts when a COMPAÑERO is gone.
VENCEREMOS! and stay free, i'll see you soon John
I did not know the man, but I met him briefly once and I never forgot that smile and laugh. Burned into my brain by the force of his presence. The world is a little less from here on out. My best wishes to his family.
Hi John
Although we did not spend that much time together, I always felt I knew you well through Sue. I wish we had spent more time, especially on my roof in the sun. You were so happy and relaxed that Sunday! I will always remain Sue's
best friend and remember you through her. I wish you happiness and peace where-ever you are.
All my love. Brenda
John was an immensely talented and much respected man. He's left his mark with the music he produced and engineered, so, in effect, he'll always remain with us, not only in our hearts, but also with the music he left us.
Sleep soundly, John.
A patch of the wall outside John’s office has not been painted for about 30 years. In fact, the rest of it went unrestored for quite a lot of that time, but when the decorating was finally done John had this part framed with wooden moulding and left as a kind of artwork. It formed something of an abstract, small lines with names beside them. The name ‘Tasha’ turns up several times, because unlike the adults around her she grew up in the midst of Southern. In fact, eventually she was probably the only grown-up there.
I don’t know how many other businesses had a height chart at their centre, but this exemplifies the way Southern was run, as a colourful, bizarre extension of John’s colourful, often bizarre family. When I turned up in his daughter’s life aged 21, talented, directionless and broke, he and Sue put a mark on the wall and added me to the number. John soon winkled out of me a list of abilities, and set about putting them to work. Over the years he had me build quite a few things around the place. I fashioned doors, desks, even Sue’s garden. I was looked after without even realising it. I was nurtured. John and Sue provided an oddball counterpoint to my own brilliant mum and dad, and I was very fortunate in this glut of parents. I was even, when I became a freelance writer, given office space at Southern.
I will never forget John, such an incredible and improbable mixture of sound business sense and ideas bordering on the insane. He lives on in my mind as snapshots. There is the bloke who really only liked dining out at Ask Pasta after a film, and who would resist attempts to make him go elsewhere. There is the man who had Ethernet in his own flat. There is the man who thought seriously about getting a line of sight between 10 Myddleton Road (his office) and 131 Myddleton Road (Natasha and my flat), so that he could add us to the Southern broadband internet by devising some kind of light transmisison device. “It’s only off and on binary signals,” he said, as though it was an obvious solution to beam the Web 500 yards down a public highway. There is the man who had a sudden yen for pudding in the middle of a Jazz recital, and swept us all away and down the road in search of some. In fact, there is the wealthy man of affairs who would scurry round to our kitchen when he heard a rumour I had made a rhubarb crumble, but insist on making the custard himself because nobody eslse could do it right.
There is that bloody van, so scrofulous that his mother-in-law had a funny turn when it was threatened to bring it to a family party. There is the man who turned up to the same lady’s house for Christmas wearing a Butthole Surfers T-shirt. This is a man who, even though she has never met him, my wife suggested this morning would be the ideal kind of chap to have his ashes blasted into space. This is a man who, when Natasha and I broke up, gave me a massive bear hug and made me promise not to lose touch. I did, to my shame. We only spoke a few times after that.
One of the highest marks on the corridor wall at Southern has the name John beside it. John Loder stood tall in reality